Fall may be the only time of the year I prefer to be outside the most. I find myself reliving my childhood with my daughter. Likely because I went on nature trails during the fall with my parents, 4 siblings, and our dog. We were a party of 7.
How to Deal with Family Nostalgia During the Holidays
Dealing with Family Envy
Even though my daughter and I have our traditions around fall based on my childhood experiences, as the holidays draw nearer, the family nostalgia of perfect families starts to play out everywhere. Including holiday movies, school events, and holiday advertisements.
My daughter started to feel that the two of us as a family was odd a few years ago after her father and I went through a divorce. Especially with all the emphasis on how families usually look as far as size during the holidays. We were a family of two now and not three or more.
She admired other families from afar and imagined our lives would be complete or happier with more people in our family especially during the holidays. That meant she was always craving to be at someone else’s home or hanging out with their family.
Accept your Family of 2
It took a few years to chip away at her “oh I’m missing out” mindset. I constantly reiterated that we are already a family. I explained how we were not waiting for someone to complete our family. New additions are welcome to join our exciting party of two. However, we are NOT waiting for more people to signup so we could become a family.
My family definition was a hard bargain to sell at first. But as she spent time with close friends’ families, she realized, things were not that different. But a little more complex with more people/ personalities to consider. And definitely more competitive when it came to sharing stuff.
Regardless, I needed her to know family is not based on numbers but LOVE. We have grown in different ways as a family of two and we have become very secure with that definition. We embrace our differences and avoid comparing ourselves to others. We are whole, happy, and excited about life. Love and respect is our mantra.
Now when we realize someone is treating us with pity because there is no male figure in our home (this is still the south y’all ), we actually laugh out loud, grab hands and go get ice cream, as a FAMILY!
